How I Discovered My Life's Purpose
kareem, now you just need a photo that explains it all ; )
Do you know what your life’s purpose is?
I didn’t, until a little over a month ago.
Maybe my story will give you insight on finding yours, if you haven’t already.
My Story
I’m lucky enough to have been born in Canada to a middle-class secular family who emphasized education. I thus basically have unlimited choice about what kind of work to do, where to live, and who I am “allowed” to love. I felt a purpose would serve as a guide to help me narrow down the choices I was privileged enough to be able to make.
In 2006, I got promoted at FOX Interactive Media (FIM). I was building new and cool products for MySpace. I had broken the six-figure salary barrier, and was living in an apartment 6 blocks from the beach in sunny Santa Monica, California with my wonderful long-term girlfriend.
The problem: I wasn’t happy.
I felt there was more that I was meant to do, more that I could *give back*. But I didn’t know what.
The next three years were tumultuous. I quit FIM and started eduFire with an amazing business partner. The girlfriend had become a fiancee, but we broke up. I left eduFire a little over a year after starting it. I learned a lot while building some web projects. I consulted while living out of backpack in places like Buenos Aires, Cape Town, Vancouver, and Budapest.
Perhaps you can tell, but the key question I often didn’t know the answer to was: “what do I want?”
Channelling my inner philosopher, I worked to know myself better. I felt that it would be easier to make decisions once I had a direction. I wanted to figure out how I could give back, and how to find meaning in the two areas I saw most significant to being happy: work and love.
I saw two therapists, talked to countless friends and mentors, devoured books like The Road Less Traveled, The Alchemist, Man’s Search For Meaning, and Mating in Captivity, and did exercises from blogs like Illuminated Mind and StevePavlina.com.
I challenged myself by living in places where I didn’t speak the language, journalling regularly, getting in the best shape of my life, and forcing myself out of my comfort zone in all kinds of different ways. I also stayed grounded by reconnecting with great old friends and spending more time with my family.
I also tried to discover my life’s purpose using Steve Pavlina’s exercise (short version: keep writing answers until you cry). I discovered my purpose on July 20th, 2009 - 18 months after I started. It was on the leafy and cool back patio of a coffee shop in Budapest called Eckermann’s. During those 18 months, I often felt like the exercise was going nowhere, so I’d put it aside for weeks or months until I felt inspired to pick it up again. I often had to stop beating myself up that the answer wasn’t coming, and trust that it would.
It ultimately came after writing about 150 potential life purposes. Three new ideas came to bear in the week that I discovered it:
1. This Seth Godin TED Talk caused me to start thinking about the tribe of people I am energized to spend time with.
2. Po Bronson’s What Should I Do With My Life showed me that few people discover their purpose without wrapping in their personal history. So I mined my past for influential events that might help me discover my purpose.
3. Aaron Ross’s Pebblestorm blog has a bunch of insightful questions that helped me connect the dots between my passions, who and what I find inspiring, and what change I feel compelled to create in the world.
So What is it, Already?!
So here it is:
I’m here to help others live lives of magnificent fulfillment by daring to find love and enjoy meaningful work.How I Figured it Out
I’ve been interested in how people create meaningful work and find love for some time. Two questions I ask that often kick off fascinating discussions are “what do you *like* to do” and “how did you guys meet?” I always find myself energized when I come away from conversations with people who’ve found what and, um, who they like to do. Work and Love natural were fits for my purpose.
One of Aaron’s questions is to figure out who is drawn to you. When answering, I took a look at my blog, which has about 800 subscribers. “Inspiration for finding meaning” is the tagline, and it pretty much sums up the stuff I enjoy posting there and (I assume) the stuff you all enjoy reading.
I mashed that up with a phrase I scribbled down a few days prior: “magnificent fulfillment”. I know too many people who live lives of quiet desperation. They’re too scared to follow their passions, so they stay with the miserable status quo. The opposite of quiet desperation, I reasoned, is magnificent fulfillment. Wouldn’t you be stoked to live with magnificent fulfillment, and have tons of friends who did too? Hells yes!
You must *dare* to live with magnificent fulfillment, because you often have to stray from the status quo and break expectations people have about you. Thinking and acting for yourself - taking responsibility for what you want - requires daring. You take the job or start the company or don’t go to law school or talk to the pretty girl because you decide to, not because someone else thinks you should.
What Does This Mean For You?
You already know you purpose. It’s inside you right now. Nobody can tell you what it is. That’s one of the benefits of being human - you get to decide your path.
I’m here to help you figure out your purpose and live a more meaningful life. If you’re here because you know - deep down - that you want more meaningful work and relationships, you’re in the right place.
I’m not going to tell you what’s meaningful. Nobody can do that. But if you’re willing to come on a journey, I’m going to try and help you discover it yourself and connect you with people who are doing the same. I’m still figuring out what form this will take. But it’s going to be fun!
I’m doing this because I truly believe that if you were doing meaningful work and having better relationships, the world would be a much better place.
Stay tuned!
